zecchinetta

The Vatican has announced that the road “must not be an instrument of death, but one of communion.” Umm, ok, tell that to drivers I passed in southern Italy this summer – the risks that they take are utterly incomprehensible. Add to that the cell phone permanently plastered against the drivers ear, cigarette in one hand, beer between the knees…and on mopeds; no helmet, requisite cell-phone-to-ear, cigarette dangling from lips with smoke flowing into eyes…well, you get the picture.

That driving in Italy is dangerous is confirmed by the fact that about 6,000 people die in car accidents each year. A report of the Italian Automobile Club asserts that, among drivers under 24, more than 40% break the speed limit, 37% don't wear seat belts, and 7% drive when drunk. From my observations, however, these figures are a gross underestimate of the reality.

A couple of months ago the Vatican showed its concern by publishing a 60-page document entitled Orientations for the Pastoral of the Road, a guide to how Christian motorists should behave. This starts with the commandment: "Thou shalt not kill." It explains that "the road must not be an instrument of death, but one of communion," then it tells people to drive with "courtesy, correctness and prudence." Ooooh, ok, shit, since you put it like that then every teenager gripped by angst inspiring hormonal surges and the urge to display machismo will buckle up, refuse to drink & drive, & obey the posted speed limits. Coz, you know, the Vatican said so…

"The road is a place of sociality, humanity and charity," says Archbishop Agostino Marchetto, the secretary of the Pontifical Council for Migrants and Travellers, and a driver should regard other motorists not as rivals, but as "companions of the road." But this is entirely futile, given that Italians are loath to admit that they drive in any other than an exemplary way.

The archbishop says that he has talked to many Italian priests, and none has ever heard anyone at confession admit to committing a sin at the wheel of a car. Some priests, he says, have even started trying to squeeze confessions out of people by asking such questions as: "How did you drive last weekend, my son?" "Very well," is the usual reply. What the fuck?! If my priest asked me how I drove last weekend I’d tell him to bugger off, let me confess the sins I want to confess and not to concern himself with those sins I was ok with.